. if somehow the way that I am made you unhappy..

Soo many times I was soo tempted to say these words :

I don’t think I’m the source of your unhappiness for you can always ALWAYS choose how you could react to my condition!

But somehow.. I managed to hold my tongue so far to not blurt out those words, yet.

I know that they care.

But what do they expect?

If they want to love me, love me the way I am now, not for what and who I was and not for what I might be in years to come.

For I might never be like I used to and I might never become like they want me to be.

I’ve realized it lately that I needed to learn about self-acceptance and love myself for I can’t always depend on others.

Sure it will be awesome having someone that love you the way you are, one that can accept you with all your strengths and weakenesses.

But I need to feel it first about myself, otherwise I will always crave for others’ love and acceptance.

What if they leave from my life?

Would that mean I can’t be happy with myself anymore?!

Well, I don’t want that.

I need to be okay with myself, to make peace with me cause I’m the one who always stays beside me all through the journey of my life, since the day I was born until the day I’d die.

Sounds so selfish?

Well.. maybe I should learn how to be one, ahahaha.. *as if I’m not already one :p*


(time to go to work, babee :D)