Kamis, 8 Oktober 2009

This day when I first arrived at the store, a song suddenly just popped in my head.

I don’t remember the whole lyric and after Googling, I found the full lyric that I want to share with you just in case you want to sing along with me :p

Lyric’s taken from :


The title of the song is : “Sungguh Indah Kau Tuhan” by Jonathan Prawira

Let’s sing..


Kucari wajahMu
Temukan kasihMu
Kau bukan Tuhan yang jauh dariku

Kupanggil namaMu
Kudengar jawabMu
Kau Tuhan yang s’lalu dengar
Seruan hatiku

Sungguh indah Kau Tuhan
Penuh kasih dan sayang
Kau tempat penghiburan
Bagi setiap hati yang terluka

Sungguh indah Kau Tuhan
Menara perlindungan
Kau sumber kekuatan
Bagi semua orang yang membutuhkan


“Have you ever felt the kind of headache that made you felt like your head was splitted in two? I have. And you know what cured it? It was when I starting singing gospels that little by little I felt better and it was all gone! And I somewhat felt peace.”

Someone was once said that to me a few moons ago.

(and he said it again just now on Saturday, October 10, 2009)


I want to have that kind of peace.

And now I know I won’t ever find it by keep running away from The One who can give me that.

And I kept stumbling on the same thing over and over again.

He never lets me down.

He has given me more than I could’ve ever imagined.

The ones who disappointed me from time to time weren’t Him.

But the humans.

And I always pointed out my anger the wrong way.

There were times when I was running to Him with tears in my eyes, but lately I guess it was more about anger.

My heart was covered in anger for so many things that I still couldn’t accept.

It was unfair, I kept on screaming!

Why did it have to be this way?!

Why couldn’t we have peace anymore?!

Why is happiness so very out of my reach?!

But I kept on forgetting..

Who am I to say about what should and shouldn’t happen in my life?

My life isn’t mine either for without Him I might not have the life I’m living now.

And why did all these times when I was a happy-go-lucky girl, I never even once asked that “why mee” questions, huehehehehe..


Saturday, October 10, 2009

Tonight we had another “meeting”, it was more like a “healing” moment, well.. at least for me, in a way :p

I never thought I still carried on that hurts deeplyy..

And it burst out without me meaning to, ahahaha..

I didn’t mean to cry but I cried anywayy..

Ooohh myy.. such an emotional night!

But it’s kinda enlighten my heart a bit cause some of the burdens I kept inside (for wayy too long) has been lifted soo.. my heart now has more space to welcome some new feelings, ahahaha.. hopefullyy there won’t be filled by another sad stories, wakakakakak..

I need happy ones!! :p

There were still so many other things that we needed to sort out before we can finally be on the right track again, but guess this could be a nice start to begin a new journey ^o^

And thank you, God.. I don’t believe in random anymore so that above song must have been a “message” for me.

I’ll keep that in mind.

And believe it always in my heart that You will never ever leave me alone.

Men might disappoint me from time to time.

But You won’t.

I always know it but sometimes I failed in believing it.

So, thank You, God, for keep reminding me again from time to time.

And even though I might not know now the reasons why all these things had to happen (and I might never know either, hehe), but I know.. You have much better plans than mine.

Your plan is the best for me.

And to get to that “end” result, I might have to cry over and over again but I know there’ll be time when I can paint a broad smile again in my face 😉

So help me, God, to learn to let go things I can’t change, learn to forgive some people in my life that has given me such heartaches (and headaches :p) and learn to forgive myself of any of my misdoings.

Please lead me in the next journey of my life for I want all the things I’ve been doing these times to come to an end.

A fresh new start would be a good thing 😀

But I’m still clueless, God, please send me some clues and help me interpreting them the right way.