Holly Kennedy:

All I know is, if you don’t figure out this something, you’ll just stay ordinary, and it doesn’t matter if its a work of art or a taco, or a pair of socks! Just create something… new, and there it is, and its you, out in the world, out side of you and you can look at it, or hear it, or read it, or feel it… and you know a little more about… you. A little bit more than anyone else does… Does that make any sense at all?

Got that quote from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0431308/quotes

It’s from “P.S. I Love You” the movie.

Ahahaha.. I’ve watched this movie 4 times, that’s kinda a record for me for I rarely repeat watching (any) movies :p

But somehow.. maybe.. this movie has a special message for me that made me kept watching it from time to time.

There are soo many things I’ve learned from this movie.

But this time I’m gonna stick to as the title of this post.

About “my business is to create”.

There’s one line from Gerry’s letter when Holly was in Irlandia.

Don’t remember the exact words, but more or less it goes like this.

You see, Love, I’m not worry that you might forget me. It’s that girl in that road that you kept forgetting!

That girl on that road refers to the Young Holly when Gerry first met her.

The Holly who said the words I quoted in the beginning of this post.

Have you ever felt that way?

That you want to share something to this world?

Just something, whatever it is.. to make you be a more than just an ordinary person in this world.

Doesn’t have to be anything grand or something.

But maybe by sharing, you just want to have a sense of feeling that somehow.. you mean something to someone.

That this life you’re living isn’t just a waste.

It’s worth it.. somehow.. some way.

Of course of course.. ideally you don’t need anyone’s approval to know your worth, right?

But somehow..

It’s always a nice feeling to know that you mean something to someone.

It surely helps a lot when you’re feeling down.

Especially in time when you might feel like you have no reasons to go on, and in your most desperate moment, suddenly you remember those people in your life that might be sad if you’re gone.

And it might help you from doing any stupid things.

I do wonder sometimes.

About what can I share with someone.

I’m not interested in global issues like world hunger, global warming, etc.. oucchh.. those things seem too big for me to handle anyway.. seems helpless, huhuhu..

All I know is..

I want to connect with people in a more personal way.

I want to make sure that somehow I can make people laugh again.

I want to feel that somehow I’ve touched someone’s heart.

I want to share their ups and downs and make them see the beauty of the world again.

I want to be able to say to them, “Heyy.. I know what you’ve been going through.. and yes, it hurts.. but you know what.. I survive.. so you can survive, too! Just hang on, a little longer in this stormy days.. for when the storm finally stops.. you might see rainbow again.”

(ahahahahaa.. as if I’m a survivor myself, eehh? :p)

I want to be that kind of someone but I just don’t know how.

And I do wonder sometimes.

When my time finally comes for me to leave this world..

Will there ever be anyone who shed their tears for me?

Knowing that I’m no longer be with them.

Have I done much things in my time on Earth so people would miss me somehow when I’m no longer with them?

Have I done anything that will make someone feel that something’s missing when I’m not around?

Time to reality check here, huehehe :p

I guess the answer is : no, huhuhu..

So when I’m gone, I’m just gonna be another unknown spirit who leaves this world, maybe no one would even notice anywayy *sigh*

My business is to create..

*wondering what can I create anyway?!*

Arrgghh.. I’m such in lousy mood latelyy..

Can’t even recognize my own feelings..

I see you again some other time..